Summer In Europe

This tunic dress from Anthropologie,

with these sandals, also from Anthropologie,

Or this beloved tunic dress from A.P.C,

With, yes again, the Dolce E Gabbana leather sandals,

All with these A.P.C. sunglasses,

Your ideas?

How Did I Go With Cooking For A Week

I said I was going to cook every day this week.

I stuck to word and cooked cold soba noodles on Monday night. They were very good and satisfying.

Image courtesy of Delicious Days - mine looked just like it, kinda.

And that's about it. Bravo!

Arty Not So Farty

Last night I went to the last soiree of an auction house that is closing it's doors in Australia, where I. has worked for a couple of years. These parties are always so much fun, and I think I was sadder than the staff at the prospect of no more.

The nibblies are decent and the waiters gay and cute, but the crowd is so much fun. The handful of people she works with are like a family, funny and charming and clever and just so nice. Amidst the flowing Champers, wit tennis reverberates between the decorated walls, and it's the only place I feel I could actually pick up a sugardaddy - the ego boost from older rich folk is palpable. Everyone is dressed with panache, which you just don't see anymore, and the celebrities and local identities are better looking in person than in the media.

I always leave these nights floating like the bubbles in my glass.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Apparently it's going to be 20 degrees this weekend. What the fuck. I was swimming at Bondi last week for chrissakes. I'm not ready to open that drawer in my tallboy yet.

So yesterday I was thinking I want to do the cliche that is skinny jeans and boots. Now, I abhor cliches, I abhor stupid catchcries like "what's hot now! what you need to wear now! the look for the season!" - even if I like them (rarely) I won't wear it out of principle. And Sydney is home to the what's-hot-now uniform.

So skinny jeans and boots have been the Sydney winter uniform for years now but right now it's actually the mood I'm in. A bit of black and a bit of fuck you. A bit of tall and lean and I so won't look like that sheep in the corner. Dark black ones, with a black turtleneck and keep it simple.

You know, something like this (and no I make no illusion to thinking I'm Angelina):



Oh and I'd pay $50 max.

Cigarettes and BB

As well as a beautiful sister and friends (S, R and S especially this week), I have received the most solace in cigarettes, and Brigitte Bardot. Sure, I love and adore her, but she has actually helped me. She has had so many intense relationships that have ended and devastated her and I get some kind of comfort from that parallel. And of course, I listen to my Favourite Ever Song, Harley Davidson, which makes me puff out my chest and feel better.

Harley Davidson
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personne
En Harley Davidson
J'appuie sur le starter
Et voici que je quitte la terre
J'irai peut-etre au Paradis
Mais dans un train d'enfer
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personne
En Harley Davidson
Et si je meurs demain
C'est que tel etait mon destin
Je tiens bien moins a la vie
Qu'a mon terrible engin
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidsone
Je ne reconnais plus personne
En Harley Davidson
Quand je sens en chemin
Les trepidations de ma machine
Il me monte des desirs
Dans le creux de mes reins
Je n'ai besoin de personne
En Harley Davidson
Je n'reconnais plus personne
En Harley Davidson
Je vais a plus de cent
Et je me sens a feu et a sang
Que m'importe de mourir
Les cheveux dans le vent!
Que m'importe de mourir
Les cheveux dans le vent!

Health

Early this morning my sister was taken to hospital with horrible pains and learnt she has a huge ovarian cyst nowhere near where the pain came from. She's having an operation next week.
N had an operation to have a cyst removed last week.
I missed my pap smear appointment today, and need the thing that feels like a ball bearing in my upper arm looked at too, as well as sun spots.
I've had a bad tooth ache for a few days.
Mum isn't well, at least she's up in the sun for a few days.
My heart's broken, but that's the least of the worries.
Cigarettes help - yet another impulsive decision that I can't help but make and will no dout fuck me up later on.

A Decision Has Been Made

I've decided I'm going to cook a different dish every night this week (house-sitting at mum's = bigger kitchen; can't fathom eating take-out and being sad). On the menu:

+ Cold Soba Noodles (thanks to Steph for posting the recipe).

+ Carbonades Flamandes (courtesy of Chocolate & Zucchini).

+ Something with scallops on the half shell- they looked so plump at the fish markets the other day (maybe wrapped with really thin pancetta and served on garlic mash?).

+ Leek And Ricotta Frittata - (again courtesy of C&Z).

Exactly How I Feel Right Now

Ha!

Sagittaire
Waouh ! Regardez du côté de Cupidon, il rode dans vos parages. La Nouvelle Lune l'excite. Il n'a d'yeux que pour vous. Vie publique : Partenaires et associés dynamisent votre créativité. Excellent moment pour signer un contrat, mettre de l'ordre dans vos papiers administratifs ou juridiques, tourner une page (3ème décan surtout). Belles opportunités les 27 et 30. Vie privée : Partez ce week-end en amoureux, ce sera constructif. Belle harmonie les 26, 27, 30.

Mais C'est Comme Ca

He's the man I love. The man that does my head in. The man whose car gives me a small thrill when I see it in the work carpark because I know he's inside. The man that fell short on so much that I wanted. Today we said what we always knew, that we aren't right for each other, we can't go on. This pseudo relationship/friendship/casual sex thing we had going on for six months...six months...can't go on, and this break up feels as fresh and horrible as the first time round. Imagining him out of my life cripples me with loneliness. We spoke last night like two real people, instead of the antagonising bullshit we overwhelmed ourselves with for so long, and it was nice, so nice. And we said let's not be sad and I couldn't lie in the bed next to him and feel his skin that I love so much, skin that I trace with my fingers, he calls it drawing, something that I have tried with others who don't even notice. And in the morning we both woke and lied together and were so sad, and then he left, and I cried an ocean. And then smoked the day away, to the soundtrack of Paole Conte's Sparring Partner, James' Senorita, Histoire de Melody Nelson and Arabesque, over and over again.

An Observation

The perfect avocado is like a perfect soft boiled egg. Eaten with a spoon with some salt, every last bit scooped out of it's shell.

I am eating said avocado because it is the only thing I can do right now. I am feeling so low today. I haven't felt so crap in recent memory. Whether it's an anxiety attack or a taste of depression that I thought I had seen the last of, I just want to run away. I don't want to blog, I don't want to talk about it, I want to get out of this space and find out why the fuck I am like this.

Oysters, And More Oysters

Because there can never be enough, in my opinion.

Friday night was out with A, chemicals and dancing and fun and a very scattered morning, including this line: "I'm so happy - not movie premiere happy, but happy". I missed Italian and slept the day away, until dinner with mum's side for Kathy's birthday, at Fish At The Rocks. It's a nice restaurant, in a darling spot, and the meals are reliably good (if only the prawns weren't off - in a seafood restaurant? - and mum and Jason didn't get sick). On Sunday morning the other A came over, so I can now say I slept with two different men in 24 hours. Oh wait, that's happened before. Oh well it's very much the spirit I'm in at the moment. We went to lunch with dad's side at The Summit, which we adore. The Oyster Mania entree is visually superb, and while the current theme is citrus and I'm not huge on citrus with seafood, and the oysters could have been more chilled, it's such a fun dish. Six oysters done six different ways (and I have to say my favourite was the fresh Pacific with a dollop of wasabi mayonnaise). I really love The Summit. Rushed to see Anthony Zimmer then got my place, and fridge, ready for TJ, who arrived Monday morning.

Monday I let her rest and in the evening we joined the others at the Harborview, where I wore my gift from Theresa of the Isaac Mizrahi for Target black tulle skirt with white sleeveless shirt and Rudolph Menudier heels. She inspired this outfit and I love it, very Audrey. Tuesday we flaneured around Woolhara and Paddo, with a stop at Just William Chocolates, for two lovingly-selected chocolates a-pieces (photos to come). As far as chocolate shops go, this was probably the best I've tried in Sydney, and the colourful boxes and ribbons are cupcake cute. In the evening we enjoyed a dozen Pacific with a bottle of Champagne as the sun set over the harbour from the Watson's Bay Hotel beer garden. I love this little spot of Sydney, with the seagulls looking ahead from the resting boats, and the Bridge peaking out from the trees. And since we were still hungry (big surprise) we popped into Captain Torres for some tapas and sangria. Nice.

The Definition Of Me Cooing

On Diane Von Furstenberg: "The wrap dress maven prepares for another store launch in St. Tropez this May—a nostalgic move on Diane’s part, since the designer vacationed there as a child, and went to a party at Brigitte Bardot’s house on her first stay."
From Fashion Week Daily.

Anthony Zimmer

1. Sophie Marceau (= sexy).
2. Yvan Attal (= Charlotte Gainsbourg).
3. Sami Frey (= Brigitte Bardot).
4. Cannes (= the only time I'll see what a suite at the Carlton looks like).

The last of the French Film Festival was Anthony Zimmer, and it was obvious and you could spot it a mile away but it was still enjoyable and pretty good for a modern French thriller. Sophie Marceau, who I never liked before, looked better than I've ever seen her - she was hot. Those shoes, those simple outfits - I hope I look half as good at 40.

In The Mood For...

1.
Gucci Sequin Ballet Slippers, on eBay. Saw a girl wearing white sequin ballet slippers the other day and she/they looked adorable. Bitch.

2. A.P.C. It's still a little out of my price range but I'm in love with the simplicity of their summer range and their web site. I can't wait to pay a visit to the store in Paris.

3. Discovering Madonna's Confessions From A Dancefloor and rediscovering Ray Of Light.

Ode To My Sister

Happy Birthday dear sister!

You wear flats, I wear heels.
You think Carine Roitfeld looks like Anthony Kiedis on a bad day, I want to be Carine Roitfeld.
You hate Kate Moss, I pretend such thoughts don't even exist.
You love 80s movies, I love existential French films.
You say unkindly things about Karl Lagerfeld, I say unkindly things about sweaty fat people.
You make the best fried rice and pavlova rolls in the world, I could eat them every day.
You like babies, I do not (except for yours).
You are my favourite yum cha partner.
You are kind and compassionate and even though it's hard sometimes, I can always talk to you.
You are loyal and a friend to so many and your door is always open.
You are an amazing mother. Wife. Sister. Friend. Person. I am lucky to have you in my life.

When Good Role Models Go Bad

Hedi Slimane eats baby food to keep his lithe figure.

Sure, his suits are amazing, but I ain't admiring anyone tucking into a miniature jar of orange mush three times a day. Does he need to be burped afterwards?

If I got to head up a major design label I'd be wanting to be hacking into huge wedges of d'Affinois three times a day.

Random Thought

When enjoying the company of another man, especially while under the influence, resist the urge to play Gainsbourg's Mauvaises Nouvelles Des Etoiles because as perfect as it sounds when you put it on, inevitabily you will reach the track Evguénie Sokolov, and Evguénie is one funny sounding man, indeed.

This has happened to me more than once.

This Week

...I'm feeling fairly nonchalant.

Re-reading: The Flaneur, Edmund White. Love this little book.
Can't Hardly Wait For: TJ to arrive on Monday! I can't believe it's around the corner!
Eating: Too much shit. I need a salad.
Must: Clean chez moi.
Must Not: Keep scratching my fucking mosquito bites. Looks and feels like I have chicken pox *scratch scratch*
In Love With: Melvil Poupaud. I'll say it again - in looks he is my ideal man. So sexy.

Low Expectations

I expected blah and ended up having the best night.

Everyone was in a good mood, no one was bragging about being married or having children, and most seemed open and interested in catching up, albeit briefly (and anyway, that's ideal in these situations). There was shrieking over people I'd forgotten about, shrieking at people I didn't expect to show up, and genuine joy at seeing people who had been important in my life: Lucy, Abby, Justin, Shanaz (Evie still remembers mum's sponge cake...and the exploding golf ball!). It didn't validate me, but surprised me that people remembered me, that the cutest boy in the year asked for my number and gave me his card. It was beautiful when Justin leaned in during a group conversation and told me he was in love with me during high school.

The rest of the night took a pleasurably deviant turn, involving a gay friend and straight new-found friend from school, chemicals, dancing and flirting at a tres fun gay club, and spending the wee hours with aforementionned new-found friend on my balcony, in my bed, smoking, talking on e, very much enjoying each other's company. Bliss.

Trois Films

+ Je prefere qu'on reste amis/Just Friends: I'm not sure, I fell asleep due to fatigue, although I remember remarking at Gerard Depardieu's weight loss.

+ Le Temps Qui Reste/Time To Leave: I loved it. It was a bit obvious, but I was seduced by the story and how it was told. OK, and by Melvil Poupaud, who in looks is probably my ideal guy. Wow, I just read this is the second in a trilogy by Francois Ozon started by Sous Le Sable on the theme of death and mourning. I cannot wait for the third, or anything else from Ozon, who now after Swimming Pool and especially Sous Le Sable, 5x2 and this film confirms for me how I much I connect with his style and his stories.

+ L'Enfer/Hell: I enjoyed this very much. Superb acting and story telling. Destiny is a subject that interests me very much, and there was a brilliant speech in the film about coincidence and destiny that I want to get my hands on. Afterwards, it hits you how much destiny plays a part in these women's lives. All three women's stories are so well done. And my god Beart and Bouquet are beautiful.

The Dinner, The Reunion, The Weekend And Whatever Else

Last night with A was nice - we had a good conversation, including some interesting discoveries about our relationship, over dinner at Red Lantern, which was nice but no fireworks. My camera's battery died as I went to snap the entrees - no wonder I hate digital cameras!

Red Lantern was featured in an SBS documentary about restaurants last year and it's double seatings a night are still booked out. I'd been looking forward to trying it well before the TV show, especially their signature salt and chili calamari. The service was great and we had a seat outside where passers-by continually stopped to ogle the menu and hope to get in. But the meal wasn't anything special. We had the salt and chili calamari, a big plate of curly sprigs of too-floury squid, as well as the special entree of crab and potato cakes. They were so salty with too much potato, and countered with the salty calamari it left my mouth a bit numb. We shared just one main, the goat curry which is another speciality, and that was very nice - falling-off-the-bone meat in a tasy turmeric-enhanced curry sauce. I had to order the coconut creme caramel to wash away the spices, and that was fairly average, the only taste of coconut coming from the toasted shreds soaking in caramel poured over the custard, which was also a bit hard and not silky smooth.

The reunion is tonight, bof.

Saturday is Italian followed by Just Friends; Sunday hopefully meet Em for a coffee then Le Temps Qui Reste then L'Enfer.

The Dream I Had The Other Night

A and I are having dinner tonight at Red Lantern. The other night I dreamt that he invited me to this dinner to tell me that he had met someone, and then he walked off and met her, throwing their arms around each other, happy. In the dream I was insanely jealous, the same raging sensation pumping through my body when I woke throughout the night (why is it you can always resume these dreams from where you left off, never the erotic ones?). I realised that despite telling myself all the time that I would be fine if he met someone, as I'm open to meeting someone as well, that I do care and I would be so upset if he did move on. Don't want him, but don't want him with someone else - that old female caper.

Then I realised this dream is so special. I would be happy if A found happiness, with someone else, and I must be happy for him. He is a good person and deserves true happiness. It won't be with me - that won't happen for us - but I felt so happy realising the message my dream is teaching me.

Lemming

Lemming was less the title of the first film I saw at the French Film Festival last night but more a description of the audience. It was as if we were in the 1940s and at a Chaplin premiere, the amount of laughter was absurd. Since when did the audience at the French Film Festival turn into a bunch of hicks who couldn't keep their mouths shut and know when to laugh?

I was very much looking forward to the movie - the two ultimate Charlottes are enough to have me anticipating for weeks. Charlotte Rampling needs no introduction - Under The Sand is in my top ten, for example, and Charlotte Gainsbourg, who is so graceful and hypnotic and, I say this in the best possible way, with or without her heritage, iconic.

But, I did not like this movie. It was a thriller for the sake of being a thriller. There were no mind fucks, no delicious twists, nothing clever. It was so Harry, He's Here To Help, which I didn't like either (and yes, it's the same director/writers/lead actor team). It had all the usual ingredients: young couple, older couple. Older woman seduces young man, young woman leaves husband for older man. Fine, I love a bit of that. But do it unusually, do it differently. The lemmings in the kitchen, big surprise. The house on the lake, big surprise. "Appelle-moi Alice", big surprise.

To me the movie is a dream they both had, she of him, he of her (and I like that). During the night when I went to the bathroom it hit me that this "model couple" with their good job/house/life had dreamt their nightmare, the nightmare that is the complete reverse of their life. Again, I like this, but I wish the method was that much more clever and unique.

Movies To See

Another list to help me remember all the movies out or coming soon that I can't wait to see.

At the movies:

+ A History Of Violence
+ Water
+ Syriana (free movie tix)
+ Cache
+ March Of The Penguins
+ Proof
+ The Constant Gardener
+ Pink Panther (yes! I want to see it! I never saw the originals, it's true. I love Steve Martin, I love Jean Reno, I love the line from the promo "was it fatal?" - "yes" - "how fatal?" - "completely". And I love Beyonce's hat and hopefully the credits will have more info on it)

Wait for DVD:

+ Look Both Ways

Brokeback Mountain

Mega hype + not winning the big Oscar = I can finally go and see it. I hate hype, it can lead to no good.

I liked it, despite missing probably a third in the mumbling (somewhat annoying; it's not a documentary, they had to speak clearer, really), acting was good, the soundtrack emotive enough to bring a glisten to my eye. What I wanted to see more of was their relationship. All their dialogue really consisted of was when they would meet up and fighting over not being together. It was hard to see what made their connection so strong. It's enough for European cinema but had me wanting more in this film. A question:

At the end, Jack's parents tell Ennis that Jack had spoken to them about living up there in a cabin with someone after him (the ranch hand from the dance who propositioned him outside?). Do you believe that? So this great love story isn't that great if Jack had moved onto someone else. Discuss.

French Film Festival

Ah, one of my favourite times of the year - the French Film Festival. The streets of the city are lined with red white and blue banners. This year has a very good line-up and I've had to have a lot of restraint (thanks to time and budget) to not see everything.

The line-up for me will be:
Tonight: Lemming
Saturday: Je prefere qu'on reste amis/Just Friends
Sunday: Le Temps Qui Reste/Time To Leave, then L'Enfer/Hell
Next Sunday: Anthony Zimmer

Reviews to come.

Current Crushes

You could never accuse me of being a Brad Pitt-plain-vanilla kinda gal.

Gordon Ramsey

Especially after seeing him on Parkinson on Saturday night. Nice suit.

Joaquin Phoenix

Tried to find a shot of him at the Oscars as he looks superb (note when he mouths 'thank you' to Reese after she thanks him in her speech, it's beautiful) but here he is in Walk The Line. Have marvelled at him since To Die For.

School Reunion

My school reunion is this Friday. It has been 9.5 years but the eager beaver organisers can't wait till the end of the year. I am very blase about it, there is no one I am looking forward to catching up with - I am friends and in touch with those I want to be and the rest I am neutral about. I don't remember their names and there are no crushes to chase up. It sounds like most are married with children, which gobsmacks me. Why is anyone married, with children, in their 20s?

I shall wear fabulous shoes and repeat my life story from the past ten years over and over again. It'll be like speed dating without any desperation.

Oscars

I've dolled up and will be heading to mum's after work for dinner, Champagne and home made profiteroles to nibble on while watching the Oscars. I have filled out my ballot, although the only movies I have seen are Capote, Walk The Line, Crash, Transamerica, Mrs Henderson Presents, Joyeux Noel, Memoirs of a Geisha, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...ok, quite a few.

All I really want is for Philip Seymour Hoffman to win best actor and Reese Witherspoon to win best actress. Oh, and Walk The Line for Costume Design (very hard to choose this year). Why isn't there a soundtrack category? Walk The Line should win that too.

Can't wait for the red carpet.

Overview: I cheated, as I always do, and spent the day refreshing oscars.com. I cannot believe Crash won Best Picture (sorry TJ). It's such a cliched, obvious film with that whining bring-on-the-emotions slow-mo soundtrack. While I don't always agree with her, the NY Times film reviewer is spot on with how I feel about this movie. Otherwise I am thrilled that Reece and Philip won, both so deserving. It's acting like this that enchants me about the movies. I also picked 13 out of the 24 categories!

* Reese's speech left me with butterflies. It should be mandatory listening for everybody. Children should listen to it at school. She's a gem. Download and watch it again here. *

Fashion Thumbs Up: Michelle Williams - yes, I liked it! It looks vintage and she can pull off a yellow that most people couldn't. I would've dropped the necklace though; Reece and Ryan, understated, elegant (*update, watch the aftershow interview and Reece says her dress is 1957 original Dior she found in a vintage store in Paris, wow.*); Salma Hayek, a stunner, pure and simple; Jada Pinkett Smith, the amazing blue colour is a standout; Diane Kruger, me likey - a cool blonde pulling out all the right stops; I mostly love Naomi Watts - I love the nude colour, it is beyond perfect, I love the tulle, I love the hair and makeup but the top ends too low below her hip, creating an ugly line and shortening her.
Fashion Unsures: Keira Kneightly, I just love the colour, but the look is too old for you; Nicole Kidman, another cool blonde look but what is happening down on the skirt?; Uma Thurman, I love dark eyes but they were too dark, and the dress, while it's a beautiful Champagne hue, is not pushing my buttons; Charlize Theron looks tired. It's a spectacular dress but the bust is unflattering and the hairstyle is too 60s and detracts from the overall wow factor.
Fashion Thumbs Down: Jennifer Lopez, that dress is like a curtain to her punani; Sandra Bullock, what is that mesh bit under that drab dress?; Rachel Weisz is Boring with a capital B; Jessica Alba, for such a pretty girl with a hot body this was too old and personality-less for her; Dolly Parton - why darlin', why?!

The Weekend

Capote (brilliant, such amazing acting from everyone especially Philip Seymour Hoffman); Italian; finished reading Garlic and Sapphires in bed, with rice pudding; a nothing-special yum cha at Zilver; soccer final at The Rose (woo hoo - Sydney won!).

Craving

1. Oeufs cocotte.

Photo and craving courtesy of Chocolate & Zucchini.

2. Perfect, light, fluffy sponge cake with massive amounts of delicate vanilla cream.

3. Freshest sashimi.

As described in the chapter I read last night from Garlic & Sapphires.

4. Milan.

5. Perfectly-cooked, slightly runny risotto.

As Jamie Oliver describes.

A Few Of My Favourite Things, This Week

"You have to wear a skirt and heels." - Parisian swingers clubs, as discussed in the NY Times T Style section.

The oh-so-me French Bred shoot in Easy Living Magazine online (this has some other great fashion shoots and features).