The Dream I Had The Other Night
A and I are having dinner tonight at Red Lantern. The other night I dreamt that he invited me to this dinner to tell me that he had met someone, and then he walked off and met her, throwing their arms around each other, happy. In the dream I was insanely jealous, the same raging sensation pumping through my body when I woke throughout the night (why is it you can always resume these dreams from where you left off, never the erotic ones?). I realised that despite telling myself all the time that I would be fine if he met someone, as I'm open to meeting someone as well, that I do care and I would be so upset if he did move on. Don't want him, but don't want him with someone else - that old female caper.
Then I realised this dream is so special. I would be happy if A found happiness, with someone else, and I must be happy for him. He is a good person and deserves true happiness. It won't be with me - that won't happen for us - but I felt so happy realising the message my dream is teaching me.
Then I realised this dream is so special. I would be happy if A found happiness, with someone else, and I must be happy for him. He is a good person and deserves true happiness. It won't be with me - that won't happen for us - but I felt so happy realising the message my dream is teaching me.
posted by Julia at 3:29 PM
2 Comments:
It's one of those battles we tend to have where, on one hand, we want them to suffer and to eventually realize that they screwed up when they got rid of us...but on the other hand (the deeper, more difficult to get to) we know that we want the best for them because we know, deep down, that they're really just human beings, both beautiful and flawed, kind of like us.
(The odd asshole aside, that is...they can suffer...did I just write that?)
We both called it quits because we both screwed up, and while we are getting along so much better now than we ever did, it's just not meant to be, at least not without revolutionary changes and I'm a believer that people don't really change.
But some are certainly flawed...asshole indeed.
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