Goodbye, Winter

Goodbye, winter. You know I hate you, but it's been good this year. Spring has come very early, coupled with a month in Europe, and I barely shivered.

Wintertime Love, The Doors
Wintertime winds blow cold the season
Fallen in love, I'm hopin to be
Wind is so cold, is that the reason?
Keeping you warm, your hands touching me
Come with me dance, my dear
Winter's so cold this year
You are so warm my wintertime love to be
Wintertime winds blue and freezin
Comin from northern storms in the sea
Love has been lost, is that the reason?
Trying desperately to be free
Come with me dance, my dear
Winter's so cold this year
And you are so warm my wintertime love to be
Come with me dance, my dear
Winter's so cold this year
You are so warm my wintertime love to be

This Week

Finished Reading: Possible Side Effects, Augusten Burroughs. I love snuggling up to this man before I go to sleep.
Will Start Reading: Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller The Dirt, Motley Crue's autobiography.
Listening To: You're Under Arrest, Gainsbourg. Il est évident que c'était mal barré, pour moi...oh!
Eating: Too much. And feeling crap because of it.
Loved: Having a facial last night at Ella Bache. I'm telling you, when Lotto calls it'll be once a week, not once a year.
Scored: A kick-arse ticket to the Chili Peppers concert next April (thanks Kath!), which inspired the fantasy of spending a night with Anthony Kiedis. After the last concert (aged 40, shirt off, straight shoulder-length hair, superb) this has been an oft-enjoyed fantasy.
Happy Birthday To: Jo, my bride-to-be, who over red wine and cigarettes on the Juliet balcony at the Forbes, let me spew all this neurotic crap before telling me about the huge change in her wedding plans. What a friend. I love this girl to bits!

Happy Birthday Jo

This Weekend

Blu Horizon is the worst bar in Sydney. And I know my bars. Don't go there. Go to The Summit. But it was a nice night, especially meeting S' new boyfriend and laughing about Jeannie Little. Oooh-aaah!

Then it was the first of the season's oysters (spectacular) at grandma's birthday, and Airport Guy came over for dinner, then Sunday morning we went flying. It was a gorgeous flight in a tiny four-seater, I forgot how I don't like turbulence and had sweaty palms until we levelled, and then it was fun. We crossed up to the northern beaches and the stretches of sand and emerald water with bobbing boats 2000ft below was glorious. We came home to watch some pathetic director's cut of The Professional/Leon. There is no way Luc Besson would have cut this. It is garbarge. The beauty of the original is the tension between Matilda and Leon, and this version was blatant and silly. Boo!

Favourite Photo

The wasted dude in the middle was very funny.

Bits Before The Weekend

+ A DIY haircut and 2.5 inches off. It's amazing how a simple haircut makes you feel so good.

+ "I just have to say wow. I'm thinking of becoming a photographer, and I'd love to photograph you". Well I'd like to vomit on you.

+ This weather is too good. Today is made for a picnic in the park, followed by kicking a footy around, then Pimms as the sun goes down.

+ Otherwise celebratory drinks at the Shangri-La tonight isn't a too shabby alternative! Especially when wearing a gorgeous black velvet wrap dress, with grey heels and matching grey handbag.

+ Bon weekend a tous.

A Whole Bunch Of Random Bollocks

+ Quote I love #1: "Sure he's loony, but he's also Tom Fucking Cruise. He makes three phone calls and he owns half of Korea" - thesuperficial.com.

+ I wish I was less fucked up. I wish I could completely, utterly forget about him. But I know why I can't, because he didn't love me like I wanted, needed, and the egoist in me can't get over that. (I will, don't worry, this is my blog, don't forget, it's here for me to release my too-many thoughts).

+ Quote I love #2: "You see we were dressed the same! That's right! We were his/hers black and white outfits a la Posh and Becs in their blissful first years of marriage, pre-Rebecca Loos" - Alpha Chick.

+ Lovely catch-up last night with the gorgeous Em at the Town Hall. Fish and chips, bubbly, girl talk, what more could you want.

+ Quote I love #3: "The pain is worth it...mmm...pain...valium...MMM" - email from S.

+ Chanel's Inimitable mascara is the best thing since...whatever. I never wear mascara, still own a dozen, but need to have this. In fact half of Chanel's latest campaign is must-have, and I've been yeah, whatever about make-up for months and months.

+ All I want is Mareva Galanter's haircut, except I couldn't get away with it. I envie girls with fringes:

The Dentist

Valium is nice.

But it doesn't last long.

Shame.

Itchy Feet

Ibiza.

LA.

NY.

Turkey.

Lord Howe Island.

Luxurious hotel anywhere.

This Weekend

Mum is feeling a bit better - thank you for your thoughts, they mean a lot to me xox

Sex. Drugs. Dance music. Oh my! OK get rid of the sex, unless you include kissing your gay boyfriend and his gay mate. Saturday night was a chance to dance dance dance and I did just that for five (straight?) hours. The drugs were pure energy with a dash of lovin' and god it felt good to shake my booty (especially when sexyback came on, I love that song). This may be the last or second last time I do chemicals so it's nice to have some good ol' times to smile back on.

Stars in our eyes

Bodyrock ya'll

(My mobile is starting to look like the directory for a lunatic asylum. I've gone through my phone book and annotated warnings to the numerous nutjobs that have come into my life, so it reads: Chris (Psycho), Rod (Avoid). So Saturday confirmed another pyscho, who was invited up since he was on the strip with the warning I would be bouncing off the walls, and when I kicked on to join S at another club the texts started coming. "I thought I meant more to you than this". "At least I tried". What? Do I have "fucktards apply within" tattooed on my forehead and just forgot?)

Last night I met Date #2 - we'll call him Airport Guy - for a drink before seeing United 93. I never wanted to see any September 11-themed movies up until I heard how good this was, and it's true. It's really, really good. Not ideal as the first movie to see together, but we had no choice but to snuggle up, so I could dig my nails into his arm. Afterwards we had tapas at Bondi, and then he spent the night, and this morning I feel like I've just gotten off a horse.

One Of The Wisest Ponders I've Had In Recent Times

"If they can fly a man to the moon how come they haven't invented a plane that can fly you around the world in like 4 hours?"

I could really go a dose of London any of these weekends.

Happiness Is

...living in a city that gives you 24 degree days in winter and lets you wear your new summer clothes.
...receiving a text message in the morning from a friend as happy about the impending spring as I am.
...mum telling me this morning that she loves watching Sex and the City, and both of us getting teary at the episode where Miranda decides to keep the baby.
...an email from R in Dublin saying she's remembered who the hot guy at our last dinner looks like: David Ginola. I still think it's Cantona! (a younger, leaner Cantona of course).

Happiness Isn't
...mum having an operation tomorrow. May this be the start of her feeling a little bit better.

Funny Stuff

I've always loved Tony Martin and Mick Molloy and they're both back on the radio but it's too hard having the radio on at work. Listen to these gems from Tony:

Prince Charles Phone Prank.
Kim Beazley's Missing Stapler.
John Howard: One Cent.

Date #2 With Date #2

Oh gush gush gush.

First, a bridesmaid's committee meeting. Remind me to avoid that shit should I ever tie the knot. I was taking notes for chrissakes.

Then he picked me up in a cab en route to a restaurant I haven't been to in East Sydney, and it was so lovely. He brought wine (and one of my favourite labels), we shared an entree (scallops), tasted each others mains (risotto, duck) and shared this fab-o dessert of white chocolate and banana spring rolls with wasabi icecream. More laughs. A kiss when he came back to the table. Next door to the pub for more drinks. We spent the whole time kissing and singing along to the video juke box. I sang along to my beloved 'I was made for loving you'. Cab back, he hopped out with me, more kisses, even got beeped by a hoon, good night, and the first night of sleep without nightmares in a week.

Bits

I went to the solarium yesterday for the first time, with Nat. Me likey!

***

Mum is staying with me this week and we've been watching multiple episodes of Sex and the City after dinner. It's very funny:

"What did he say?" "Oral sex." What?" "Oral sex." "What?" "ORAL SEX!"
"He calls it the chocolate what? Chocolate starfridge?" "The chocolate starFISH!"
"A strap-on? Is that how you say it?"

***

Spring is in the air and there's nothing better. The sky is blue and the air sparkles with sunshine warmth. I'm so happy.

***

Having such bad dreams lately. Broken sleep, scary visions, I love my sleep so much but now I want to stay awake as long as possible. Where do these horrible dreams come from?

I Just Can't Get Enough Of This

I want to turn the "huh"s into a ringtone - if someone can do this for me I'll send you a t-shirt or something I just DIYd it to my message alert.

Date #3

Hmm, not sure how to describe this one. I met him three weeks ago outside a club, after he'd noticed me slamming my fists down at the bar upstairs ordering more tequila shots, and we got chatting over cigarettes in the cold. He's been chasing me since to catch up, and the timing hasn't been good, so we finally managed to on Saturday night, and he took me to The Summitt for drinks.

He's one of those guys that has magnetism, that's for sure. He's a mystery in a bottle and he knows it. He kisses lightly on the lips and when you want more he pulls back. He plays with your fingers and looks deeply in your eyes. I just realised - it's very European. But it's game playing and I'm not in the mood for games, ever again.

Shame - I think the sex would be outta this world.

Date #2

I haven't felt excited about a guy for so long. No matter how much I tried, I always held a light out for A. But finally this has faded, and here I am, open to new things.

And, I'm excited about a guy. Date #2.

We met at a local pub and had a great night. A lot in common, lots of laughs and quite a few drinks (tequila shots on a first date?). So since the whole "would you like to come back to my place for a coffee" is quite the novelty, I did one on him, never thinking he'd accept. He did. Massive amount of impressive fooling around. Horrible hangover the next day.

And he called, and I'm giddy. I know I shouldn't be, and anytime this has happened before it's never worked out, so I'm cautious. But geez it'd be nice...

When Good Dates Go (Pyscho Bitch) Bad

So, I'm thinking 2 out of 2 ain't bad at all! Didn't realise Date #1 was actually a major Psycho.

Started with a text at midnight on the night I was out with #2. Now, don't text me at midnight to say "hope u had a gr8 day xox". I'm usually asleep at midnight and unless it's an emergency or a dirty text from someone I like, you have no business texting so late. The next day there was another, asking why I hadn't replied to him. I replied saying I was asleep and that I was busy that morning. He replied saying if I wasn't interested than I could've let him know instead of ignoring him. I replied with something along the lines of I wasn't ignoring you but your reaction is quite scary so we should let it be. For the next 24 hours a spate of messages and emails from him, the complete Jeckyl and Hyde package. One message saying I'm sorry I haven't fallen for someone in such a long time and I was worried you weren't interested, to I'm too good for someone like you, you're insignificant, don't ever contact me again (when I had ignored him from the beginning of these rants), to I feel like such an idiot, can we talk, I planned something special for you beautiful, to go and play your games with someone else and so on and so forth.

Why do I attract psychos? There was L from last year, then the Turkish guy from the beginning of the year, and the Brazilian from the same time. Now this gem. Is there anyway to purge myself of attracting these kinds of people?

Who Would Have Thought

A bacon and egg McMuffun and hash brown could be just so damn delicious?

I expected my drive thru breakfast this morning to be stale and soggy with undercooked, cheap shit bacon, the egg rubbery like something you'd get on a plane, and the hash brown oily and undersalted. No! They were grand. Fucking McDonald's. Just when you're happy to hate them forever, they go and do something delicious and super convenient.

Waiting For The Sun

One of my favourite Doors songs, one I've been listening to every day lately, as I wait for the sun, as I wait to hear Jim sing the line that still shakes me to the core: this is the strangest life I've ever known...

At first flash of Eden
We race down to the sea
Standing there on freedom's shore.
Waiting for the sun, waiting for the sun, waiting for the sun
Can you feel it now that spring has come
And its time to live in the scattered sun
Waiting for the sun, waiting for the sun, waiting for the sun
Waiting.... waiting.... waiting.... waiting....
Waiting for you to come along
Waiting for you to hear my song
Waiting for you to come along
Waiting for you to tell me what went wrong
This is the strangest life Ive ever known
Can you feel it now that spring has come
That it's time to live in the scattered sun
Waiting for the sun, waiting for the sun, waiting for the sun

Another American Apparel Order

Including this hot two-tone one-piece:



Tip: use code getlucky to save 25%.

Yes Please

Anthropologie Frankie A-line Dress, $348.00 (insane).


Pretty Balerina Brigitte Balerinas, 99E. I'm ga-ga over sparkly balerinas. And they're named after La Bardot. So you know, I need them.


Witchery Stripe Fabric Ballet Shoe, too cute, $89.95.

Date #1

I briefly email with a guy and as it's my first proper contact I prefer to talk or meet up, and we speak on Monday and it's very pleasant, and line up a drink for Tuesday night.

I'm a little nervous showing up, his picture is very good looking and I guess I am intimidated by very good looking people that I don't know. We go to a quiet bar and have a couple of drinks and it's really easy. He's a nice guy, very open and I feel comfortable. He's slightly shorter than me - a first - but as good looking as the pic. There's quite a bit he reveals that's not on his profile, and I understand his reasons but take everything with a grain of salt. You have to, with these things.

Now, I haven't had much date experience. So when we left and he asked if I would like a coffee back at his place, I choked with the clichedness of the question. Yes, sounded too easy. No, sounded like I hadn't had a good time, and I had. What to do?

"Thanks, but I shouldn't have a coffee as I'm going to the dentist in the morning".

Mind you I'd just had two red wines and many cigarettes.

This sounded so absurd I realised the only thing that could save it was to laugh it off and agree.

He's an account manager for a record label and a musician and he played me his CD, and we kiiiiiiiiiiiiissed on his lounge, and he invited me to come back so he could cook me dinner. But I have another date that night. Another night would be better.

"Can You Open Your Mouth Wider?"

Alas, I was at the dentist's.

The new shiny dentist where they have a tea menu (Twinings) and the best magazines, brand new and crisp. After xrays and prodding and cameras showing the back of your teeth - blegh - it's time to talk damage.

* Wisdom teeth to be pulled out (to be done at the hospital under general anaesthetic, who chooses any other option?!)
* Fillings - with Valium!
* Gum graft, where they take a piece of your gum and graft it on to a tooth that has a receeding gum. Can you believe this? That or braces. I never believed in braces as a teen and I sure don't believe in braces as a grown, functioning adult.

Another reason I can't believe in god - didn't s/he have more important things to worry about than creating issues like receding gum lines?

I'm getting the breakdown of what it's going to cost in the mail, and coupled with the new stove I had to buy this week, and the bi-annual private health insurance bill, which will eat up some of the dentist's costs, it's one costly time of year.

Giving It A Go

Putting my profile up was not as hard as I thought it would be. Granted I didn't put too much effort into it, and password-protected my photo. You can send free 'kisses' which just dings them with your interest but you need to pay to email. I thought this is now or never so handed over my credit card details for the minimum payment.

Friends have told me they use the site as an ego boost, but I've always found that, well, daft. If you're getting your ego boost from faceless strangers in electronic land, it's time to take a good hard look at yourself. So, after a day my Inbox is full of kisses, and I go through them all, while browsing myself and sending out my own kisses. It's not as cringe-worthy as I expect. There are even a couple of guys who pique my interest and we exchange nice emails, with suggestions of meeting up.

Great Thing About Being Single #50785

You can get off before work without the hassle of all that sloppiness.

My Social Experiment

Yesterday I *gulp* put myself on RSVP. It was a very 'why not' moment. Do I feel like a loser? Sure! But I'm in a very open-to-everything mood right now and you know how I feel about the Sydney bar scene (can I talk to you, and not your ego please?). It's my little social experiment. Who knows what will come of it. I'll blog about it, that's for sure!

Life As A Mastercard Ad

Finding your ex-boyfriend on RSVP: priceless*.

* As in, heart leaps to the throat, not ROTFLMAO.

This Is The Strangest Life I've Ever Known

When everything is truly horrible, avoid it all with meaningless blog crap:

+ Rent on Wednesday night was brilliant. If you're in Sydney this week and have a spare $35, go along to see it. Honestly. I don't recommend musicals, in fact I hate them (apart from The Sound of Music) and I haven't seen Rent before but this was the bomb. Amazing singing, acting, costumes (shout out to I who is the costume designer) - I loved the story and the songs were so good: (Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows...The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you [Without You]).
+ I've done something stupid in relation to dating, but I guess that'll come out later.
+ I don't know what I'd do without cigarettes. It's a contant consolation.
+ Reading Jim Morrison's biography makes me think of him non-stop. I'm listening to all the CDs and picked up his books of poetry from mum's last night; I want to cry with how beautiful the words are. This is the strangest life I've ever known. Indeed.
+ What a week for friendships. But c'est la vie, non? I get to see S tonight and that's just the bestest thing. This weather sucks but at least there's always the life of the party outside my door and we can go and be children of the night together.
+ Why are some people such fucking wanker cunts? Is it something you're born with or...or how exactly do you explain such a level of fucked-up-ness?

I Love YouTube!

I only just really got into the whole YouTube thang and it's just a little addictive. Some gems:

+ One of my favourite duets: Vanessa Paradis and Jane Birkin sing Ballade de Johnny-Jane. Those smiles.


+ I don't think I'm romanticising the sadness in Gainsbourg's face in the clip for my beloved Initiales B.B.


+ This little bit of eye-watering magic.


+ Cold shower, quick.



+ "Can I look at it first?" - aaaaaaaah!

French-Sick

+ I can't tell you how thrilled I was to check my mail yesterday and to find two crisp brown paper A4 envelopes, each containing the past two Elle magazines. N, it was the kindest thing and it felt like Christmas morning. I devoured them last night in a blissful curl-up on my couch. Merci mille fois.

+ The ridiculously talented, funny, gorgeous Maitresse just did the perfect post on French bureaucracy in summer (and the post underneath about the market sellers in Mirepoix is equally gold).

Should I Buy This...

...or should I just let it go?


2006 FIFA World Cup Final - Italy V. France DVD, $34.83.