Thursday, November 23, 2006

2006 Year Of The Stalker

I thought it was Year Of The Pig? Actually it's Year Of The Stalker. Let's take a look at some of the men that made this year 'special':

1. Brazilian Guy
Met while out with A, through my beer goggles he was incredibly gorgeous but without them he just sounded like Borat. Never ending calls and texts ensued.
Memorable Moment: The text that read "I'm outside your place, please just come and talk to me". How do you know where I live?!

2. Turkish Guy
Yes, he was hot, but after being less than impressed with his package (I wasn't in the mood for "it's not the size it's how you use it") we took off and left him calling. And texting. For the next few months. It's thanks to him that I now never answer private number calls.
Memorable Moment: Answering the phone thinking it was my private number sister and instead it was him trying to catch me on the sly.

3. Chris (Psycho)
This is how his name appears in my phone. After one nice date he went all psycho bitch on me, calling and texting non-stop - the complete Jekyl and Hyde routine. It went from "I'm so into you I haven't fallen for someone like you in years" to 10 minutes later "I'm too good for someone like you, never contact me again". Dude, I never contacted you in the first place. Psycho alert!
Memorable Moment: Saving the texts and emails for AVO purposes.

4. Tony
Little Italian boy I met out one night, instead of just having a bit of fun he again started texting non-stop begging me to see him. He just had no idea. After telling him no more I thought it was all done with until a whole month later when another text came through. Unbelievable.
Memorable Moment: "I thought I meant more to you" - did you? Why?

5. Vin Diesel
Totally hot guy takes an interest in you. You are impressed by his Popeye arms, and can imagine them pinning you back while he bangs you into the wall. What you don't imagine is twice-daily texts, and when you meet up for a casual drink the interogation of why you don't call or want to see him more. It's just too much, and for what?
Memorable Moment: The whole thing - I meet a tres sexy guy and he's only interested in one thing: settling down. What a yawn.

In fact, the whole thing has been a yawn. What is it with the perseverance of these men? If I contacted someone I was interested in, and never heard back, I would be shattered enough to leave it at that. Do they have egos of steel? Whatever, over it. Next.

9 Comments:

Blogger surfercam said...

That's great Julie.
My mate Chris is a bit of a psycho, but he's from Adelaide so I guess he is just normal down there.
He is very Jekyl and Hyde too.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

Maybe it's a trait that comes with the name Chris?

PS Julie? It's JuliA! That extra sylable really makes a difference!

1:31 PM  
Blogger LivinginOz said...

Julia - you just reminded me why I HATED dating (with a passion.) It was getting to the stage where I just wanted an old-fashioned yenta/shtetl to match me to someone suitable so that I didn't have to go through so many weirdos!

So - what happened? I married someone I met via the Internet. Go figure. ;-)

I hope that 2007 is much better!

4:43 PM  
Blogger Lola is Beauty said...

I haven't had a stalker for ages...it's a weird feeling of "thank god I'm off the hook" and a teensy weensy bit of "why does no one love me!" Bad, bad, I take that back! nothing is worse than being the object of someone you've rejected outright's affections. Icky...

10:56 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

What is it with guys doing the clingy/needy/stalker thing? I thought that was something only chicks did!! ;-)

2007 has got to be better - it sure can't get any worse, right?

12:10 AM  
Blogger schuey said...

this is hilarious !

When do you come and visit ? (i can text it a 100 times if you want)

3:20 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

Livinginoz - and you married the perfect match :-)

Lola, uh uh, there's nothing fun about it, it's completely annoying - and it's never the guy you want. Big ick!

Schuey - thanx for the email, I'm sure you have your fair share ;-) I will be heading your way June July. Miss your blog...

11:25 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

I really seem to have the opposite problem! Though, I think a lot of it is what I'm giving off. Still, either way, it's never quite what you want.

6:45 PM  
Blogger AlphaChick said...

Babe I love your attitude! You know the drill so 2007 can be nothing short of spectacular. X

11:14 AM  

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