Friday, December 29, 2006

Rut

Thoughts...now that I'm 28 I have two years left to go and work in London...It's not something I have wanted to, but now that time is of the essence maybe I should consider it...what would I do...what skills do I have...I feel like I've done nothing with my life...but I've never wanted to do anything with it, I've just wanted to live it, but is this living it?...should I do a pilates instructors course and go and teach pilates? Go the angle of tanned Aussie girl teaching yummy mummies in Kensington...I don't want to live somewhere crap though...in the meantime maybe I should do a course in 2007, edumacate myself a bit...$12,000 for a postgrad diploma? Fuck me...I don't even know what I want to study...maybe linguistics or French or Italian or European studies...why though, to come back and answer phones?...what do I want to do with my business?...The only certain thing I know is that I want to travel for one month every year...but is that enough?...surrounded by an ex-boyfriend who is unhealthy for me...sometimes I feel I'm losing the essence of who I am...I want to write again but as soon as I start to type I feel ridiculous...oh the end of year rut.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would you want to work in London? Why not Paris? You seem more French to me. And you don't want to do a pilates instructor course. That's just brainsick. You'll be brainsick. Just go travelling with 'the main aim'. You have to have 'the main aim'...It's either simple or it's the opposite. So many choices but only a snatch cut the mustard.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

go to paris...if nothing you can teach english while you are deciding and discovering what you want to do...plus, teaching on your cv is never a bad thing. and stay away from your ex-beau if he is unhealthy...really julia, you know that that is just so passe and boring, you are more than that i am sure.
so chin up, bonne chance et bon voyage!

3:54 AM  
Blogger Lola is Beauty said...

Hate to say it but I'd choose Paris too, though I'd love it if you visited here! Here's my recipe for getting rid of end of year blues: Paint nails, put lipstick on, drink Champagne, eat chocolate, dance around room. Happy New Year!

4:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why one month of travel? Why not two or three or four? Your business is online, yes? So you are very portable, yes? You are a woman wanting a good man. You are 28, primarily heterosexual. You would like him to be secure, maybe wealthy, who can say you are wrong when he thinks it. Real passion is difficult to find. It is difficult to maintain but...In April I will be in Mexico City. Why not meet in the zocola? Meetings should always happen in the zocola. From the very beginning, from concepcion, life is a risk.

6:41 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

There's so many anonymous comments lately - any chance of letting me know who you are?

Lola, I'll be there in July at the very least (and Paris just beforehand) so we must catch up. Yes, Paris could be on the cards too. On verra...

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reason for lots of anon comments: You're becoming popular?
Reason for commenting: I guess I've either got too much time on my hands or...I'm procrastinating about my work.
Reason for remaining anon: It feels safer and...I can.
Cheers,
B.
P.S. I can always go away if you want.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

B - no I simply want to know if I know you in real life or if you are a fellow blogger?

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, I'm afraid I'm not real but then that depends upon what drugs I've taken and...given we've just had NY's celebrations I'm actually feeling decidedly real.

You don't know me. At least I don't think you know me. I certainly don't know you. I mean, not really. Also I don't blog. I've just become a strange trenchcoated lurker but I do keep a diary and I am very curious about 'the blogger'-the person who journals publically.
B.

9:00 PM  

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